The New Beijinger

After two tumultuous weeks in Fiji Islands, I finally got my Visa and flew in to Beijing the following day.

Due to the upcoming Olympics, Beijing has put so many restrictions and revised their policies altogether - to the foreigners dismay.

I arrived in the evening and thought I landed in the world's biggest airport. Unfortunately, I figured out that the airport was the old one because of the discolored structure. My flight wasn't a good one at all - it was a generally bumpy 14 hour ride from Nadi to Seoul and Seoul to Beijing.

I was welcomed by my new colleagues who made sure I felt comfortable in my first night. The accommodation provided wasn't up to everyone's standards and they were apologetic about it. Nevertheless, it provided the basics: a bed, a toilet and, of course, a free internet line.

Beijing turned out to be a place that I will love despite the pollution and the language barrier. I don't see any of those as that serious as what other people would like to put it. I believe that Beijing has its own character and must be respected. Since I was up for a new adventure, I referred to my travel guide that was given to me by a dear friend back in Fiji. It was a big help because I was able to get around Beijing on my second day. I was also very pleased to have chosen a well-recommended restaurant for dinner. If you are new, the trick here is to get the addresses of the places you are going to written in chinese in a piece of paper. Flash it to the driver and he will sort it out for you. Just make sure you know how to say LEFT TURN, RIGHT TURN, STRAIGHT AHEAD and RIGHT HERE PLEASE. The pronunciations are not easy but can be learned of course. Do a little bit of charade and you'll get your message across.

The stark difference between Fiji people and China people is the friendliness. Here in Beijing you will hardly get that warm smile and heartfelt greetings when you meet a local. Everyone doesn't seem to be bothered at all. Although if you are a foreigner and markedly "alien" looking you end up being stared at many times. My Filipino friend told me that at a far-flung school he was teaching at the grade school students would ask him to sign on their notebooks. Strange isn't it?

Settling in is not a big problem for me because I felt very much at ease. I find the culture vibrant and the language very interesting. I tried to learn as many chinese phrases as I can that will eventually make my work here a lot easier in the coming months. What I find difficult are the different pinyin stresses. Just a slight variation in the rise and fall of the tone and you will be completely gibberish. Listen closely and talk to the locals more often than fully rely on books.

I was able to get a decent and good-sized apartment after 5 days. It is overlooking the Chaoyang Park - said to be Asia's biggest park. Still unverified, I won't disclaim it outright because it is indeed very expansive. And Beijing is a very large space. You can put the biggest structures here.

I love my apartment despite the minor issues I had in the beginning. I have cleaned up my kitchen and bathroom and later will organize my bedroom and living room. I realized how hard it will be to maintain it by myself so I need an ayi to help me with the chores. Household help is called ayi in China. I had a Chinese ayi once and we couldn't communicate properly. In fairness to her, she was very kind-hearted and pleasant. However, she wasn't thorough in cleaning up. So, I decided to get a Filipino ayi. We Filipinos know our cleaning jobs well. That will give me peace of mind and more satisfaction.

The other thing that I am dealing with right now is gaining a good mix of friends - gay and straight alike. At the moment, it is a little tricky because I am cautious in getting close to the Chinese gay people. I don't know what they are made up of. Although I have already met three people, I couldn't confidently declare I have found the comfort zone yet. But in saying that, I have had a house guest a few days back. Surprisingly he was Filipino. I hardly meet up with Filipinos wherever I go to. I love our breed but it is the attitude that puts me off. However, this guy is more than what I could bargain for. For some reason, he made me want to be very intimate with him. But yet again, I was unlucky - he was here on a holiday. Despite the brief meetings I treasured whatever transpired. If only he was here to stay, he could have been the ONE.

The coming months and year(s) will be a great challenge. However, I feel very prepared and confident. I will be a Beijinger.

Uncertain...

I had a very wonderful evening yesterday. I would like to think it was the best farewell party I ever had throughout the week.

Yes, I had a series of send-off gatherings since Monday of last week sponsored by different groups of people: culinary staff, expatriates, my bakers, my friends and last night my mandara spa family.

Despite the inconvenience the delay of my flight has caused, I am also thankful that I have been able to spend quality time with people who care for and love you. It makes you realize that you have indeed touched many people's hearts. I thought I didn't create enough ripples to make my existence in Fiji something to cherish for.

I can't help feeling lucky. Feeling thankful to my family for raising me to be a very pleasant person. Feeling proud and gratified that I have become part of other people's lives.

On that note, I also want to appreciate a few people who have really wanted to share their lives with me. People who have shown desire to make me a part of them. People who are true to their feelings and willing to try a little harder or take the extra mile to find joy.

My career is well-chartered. However, my personal life is indefinite.

Uncertain...

Lo! We must not dwell upon something that only leads to despair. That is the last thing a fighter would ever want to happen in his life.

I know my mum has always wished that before she leaves this world she will see me in great satisfaction and happiness with someone. I believe everyone in our family does hope for the same being the youngest child who has made his visions come to life. I made their dreams come true through me. I always replay in my mind what my mum said to me one night: "the reason why I kept going in this life is because of you - you inspire me".

Consequently, I would like to say "thanks, Miguel" for making my heart skip a beat again. It has been ages since I felt that. It brings back hope.

Some revelations: Is sex bad?

Having been raised in a Catholic community, the appreciation of sex is very much confined within religious contexts.

Promiscuity is viewed as the devil's work and much more so if you are gay - you will be satan yourself.

However, my travels abroad have gradually changed my perception of sex although I still remain reluctant in some areas like having multiple partners or orgy-mongering. My religion-bound upbringing still influences my decisions.

Nevertheless, I have some revelations to tell about my sex life. In whatever way you view it, you may either post your comments here or just keep it to yourself.

One thing I want to be clear about is that I am not your ever-horny guy who needs a shag so often that he will have a bad day if he doesn't get one. With or without it I still feel adequate in my sex life. The hand remains my best friend in times of need.

I have tried threesome when I was in my mid 20's. It was a novel activity for me and I did enjoy it for a couple of times. The only drawback I found was how to synchronize everyone so nobody will be left behind. At some point you will feel awkward if you are getting more pleasure than the others. Well, if you are very appealing compared to the other two then it works to your advantage. But I don't like inequitable distribution of pleasure. I didn't engage in threesome anymore after that.

Is having sex with a muscular and good-looking guy your fantasy? I believe it is everybody's. It is a wonderful feeling if someone with Adonis' characteristics craves for you. My only complaint is as much as it is pleasurable and realizes your fantasies you don't want to get attached as you would surely be on the losing end. Being very romantic and sweet, I find this really difficult to deal with. I can't help forming a bond.

My experiences have become varied when I left the country. I used to be very conservative about my partner's nationality or race. However, my preference changed when I worked abroad. I have slept with guys of Indian, Pakistani, Kiwi, Slovakian, Irish, Australian, Swiss and Fijian decent. APPALLING? At this point your thoughts must be racing on the idea of STDs. Yes, it is a risky situation. However, I don't swing around like a care-free guy who doesn't think of his future. You must always be armed properly. The highlight of these encounters is that you will learn that whatever the race or nationality the sexual act remains the same.

Just a quick disclaimer: I don't have sex that often in my life as it so appears. These accounts are spread out over eight years. In between, I had serious relationships that have shaped a balanced and healthy appreciation of sex.

Having said that, my ultimate realization is: "there is no greater feeling than MAKING LOVE with someone".

If you invite me for sex for the sake of it, it will take some time before you can coax me into getting into bed with you - if you catch me in the right mood. I don't feel that rush with just anyone whom I don't have a connection to however good looking or wealthy you are. In the same token, I'd rather cuddle with you than doing it all the way down. And if I have formed a bond with you then I take it from there. I don't get a hard on that easily. I must be enamored with you.

SEX isn't bad as what religion has taught us. It is about how you manage your sexual desires and making sure it doesn't dictate your actions. Rather, you must be in control. This is where you draw the line between being promiscuous and expressing your sexual desires. Sex is good because it strips you down to your basic form - you are a human being not too far apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.